I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
