So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
