First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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