JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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