saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
