It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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