"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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