I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize