Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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