i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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