I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
