Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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