that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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