i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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