Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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