I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize