My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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