So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They took my balls.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
