WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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