Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize