Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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