Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
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I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
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I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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