We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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