Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
