Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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