No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
