After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Did I show you my penis last night?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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