I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
