i'm signing you up for texting rehab
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
