i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
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