he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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