if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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