He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize