just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize