Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize