yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
PANTIES FOUND
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