operation harelip BJ is a go
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
