I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
