No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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