Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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