Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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