I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
