i just had sex bonerless
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
