Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just forgot I was standing up.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
