sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You are the jesus of drinking
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
