and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i came on her dog
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
