You just made me feel so damn special
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
