I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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