Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
