its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
someone owes me an orgasm
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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