At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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