i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
