bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
