You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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