Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
